the original aim

Last time I called home, oh that was after I gave myself a French manicure on Saturday afternoon. I talked to mom about how Wei and I wanted to buy a block of land and build a Japanese style L shaped house with a rock-sand Zen garden and a lotus pond. I went on to rattle about the land price here and fantasized when that could come true. "600 thousand at least." "6 wan Renminbi, that's alright." Mom said. "No, Australian dollars." I said. "Where r u gonna get all that money?" She asked. "errr, I guess I'll work for another 10 years and see how I go then. I really want it, you know." I was still mesmerized in my fantasy when mom said, after being silent for a while which was unusual of her: "You know, you've deviated from your original aim." I knew too well what she meant and got mad upon hearing it. "You don't have to draw a conclusion on things you don't know!" I said emphatically. "Living in a dream house doesn't prevent me from being a good practicing Buddhist..." So thereafter our conversation ended abruptly with mom saying that she had to cook in preparation for the small delegate of Buddhists that she was going to host at her place.

I truly believed that it was too condescending of her to conclude like that, although as my mother, I guess she obviously has a right to act "condescendingly" every now and then, and I normally wouldn't mind. But I noticed that my tolerance level for her Buddhist talks had been dropping. I wondered why.

Yesterday, I was browsing Tianya again and there was a post of photos of Indian beggars, most of whom were deformed, with enormous rib cage, with fleshless legs, missing one foot, or knee-walking with rubber cups strapped to the knees. There was this naked beggar that was sitting on a piece of wood board with four small wheels attached to the bottom (btw, I'm not talking about a skateboard). His deformed legs being an useless accessory but obviously cannot be just severed off, were tied to his shoulder. Around him, there was not a single face, but a jungle of strong and healthy human legs in jeans, suit pants, delicate traditional pants, through which he saw the world.

So when Buddha first walked the streets outside his castle, he did not see the beggar. He saw the world through the eyes of the beggar.

You see. That's why I'm comfortable inside Australia, my castle, my home. Part of the great things of being in a developed place is that I'm spared from witnessing the miseries of life on a daily basis and feeling sorry for it. But, I'm afraid, this is the very thing I need to see right now...
When I see a beggar, I'll see the world in a different manifestation. And then, I'll put aside my dream house with the rock-sand Zen garden for a while and think, perhaps, in the next 10 years of my life I'll work to release her of her sufferings.